How to Set Boundaries and Stop Pleasing Everyone?

Before we discuss how to set boundaries, let’s answer these questions first. Are you a people pleaser?

Do you put other people’s wants and needs above your own? Do you feel responsible for other people’s feelings?

If yes, you are in the right place. Learn how to stop being a people pleaser and stop pleasing everyone, as well as start sticking up for yourself, by reading this article.

Perhaps, you may not know how to say no or how to stop being a pushover if you are a people pleaser.

These are all concerns that, if not addressed, will have a significant impact on your personal happiness and mental well-being at the same time.

Most people find it difficult to set personal boundaries, relationship boundaries, or work boundaries?

As a result, they try to impress others and then feel angry and disappointed at the end of it.

Read more: How to Stay Focused and Double Your Productivity?

What do you say when setting boundaries and stop pleasing everyone?

I’m sure there are people like me who always tried to please everyone without thinking of the consequences.

Even sometimes, you could not say no if someone seeks help from you. Before you know how to set boundaries, you must clarify how does it affect our emotions and mental health.

“Your personal boundaries protect the inner core of your identity and your right to choices.”


This happens because we are scared to say no and have the fear of losing grace and dignity. So, why do you have such a difficult time standing up for yourself?

Before jumping to the ways to set boundaries, you should learn about what are boundaries and how do they affect your expectations, needs, and mental health.

Setting boundaries is a critical feature of mental health and well-being. It is an important part of building one’s identity.

Boundaries can be physical or emotional, and they can be loose or rigid, with healthy boundaries typically falling somewhere in the middle.

On the other hand, Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules, or restrictions that a person establishes in order to determine appropriate, safe, and permissible ways for others to treat them.

How they will respond if such boundaries are breached also imply.

Personal boundaries, according to some psychologists, serve to identify an individual by defining likes and dislikes and establishing the distances one permits others to approach.

Physical, mental, psychological, and spiritual limits, as well as beliefs, emotions, intuitions, and self-esteem, are all involved.

It helps separate you from others on a physical and emotional level. They demonstrate how you want to be treated, as well as what is and is not acceptable to you.

5 Ways on How to Set Boundaries and Stop Pleasing Everyone

After all, Boundaries are necessary for all relationships, including those with your parents, children, friends, and boss.

Now know the 5 ways to set your boundaries and stop pleasing everyone.

1. Self-Awareness

Well, the first thing I would say to be self-awareness. You need to know about yourself and your boundaries.

In every situation, you should ask yourself what my preference are, what’s my desire. This will help you to give top priority and allow yourself to consider more than others.

A lot of people ask how to set boundaries. But they don’t want to know their needs, demands, and expectations.

That’s why everything goes against them. So in the very beginning, you must discover and know yourself to stop pleasing everyone.

2. Know Your Limit

With strangers, coworkers, friends, family, and intimate partners, clearly identify your intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries.

Examine previous encounters with people who made you uncomfortable, angry, resentful, or frustrates.

Many people are unaware of their personal boundaries, which should be as easy to pronounce as the alphabet.

Must read: How to Improve Yourself in Personal Life Consistently?

Admitting that your lack of boundaries arises from a lack of self-esteem is the first step. After all, what good is it to say we want to improve if we don’t tell ourselves the truth about where we are now?

3. Communicate and Express

You must put your foot down if the surrounding individuals are constantly doing or saying things that irritate you to the core.

If you never inform someone that what they’re doing is unacceptable, they’ll never know. Be the person who speaks out when others act in a way that makes you feel undervalued or inadequate.

If something does not feel right to you, you should avoid it at all costs and stop pleasing everyone.

Clearly, gently, and consistently communicate your boundaries or expectations. Avoid over-explaining, accusing, or becoming defensive by sticking to the facts.

4. Speak the truth

Clarifying your priorities will assist you in determining what you are willing to devote your time and energy to.

If you’re constantly putting other people’s needs ahead of your own, it’s time to make a change. Tell them honestly, what are you going to tell them.

5. Accept That You Can not Satisfy Everyone

In regard to this question (how to set boundaries), I would say to find your limitations. As every human being has some limitations.

You can satisfy everyone at a time. What you can do is make yourself happy. 

So it’s time to change your mind. It is not your responsibility to keep happy others. Since happiness is entirely personal.

People may like you and your jobs, that does not mean people are becoming happy because of you.

Bottom Line:

We believe these steps will help you to get unstuck and start taking back control of your life.

In order to set boundaries, you have to assess your daily tasks and also find out the biggest energy drainers.

Understanding the priorities in your life and balancing them so that you regain control.

It is a natural thing to please others because we all loved to be loved by our family, friends.

But the reality is, you can never be able to please everyone. Only you can be a happier person if you embrace the real in you.

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Md. Tota Miah
Md. Tota Miah
Md. Tota Miah is a career counseling expert and a faculty member at Varendra University. He has a master’s degree in Management from the University of Rajshahi and has been teaching academic subjects for more than 7 years. Mr. Tota has a passion for helping others win with their personal development and career and has been writing about self-growth and lifestyle matters for 3 years. Youth Rider is the result of his dream and passion to share the knowledge and information that would ultimately help people around the world.

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